Reflecting on 2021 makes my head hurt. And my heart ache. And it creates a weariness I’d like to put behind me. Personally, not having a real place to live, experiencing an empty nest, the ever-present Rona, and let’s not forget the church world in all of its dumpster-fire glory . . . all of it has given me the freedom to wave a happy goodbye to 2021. I’ve written thousands of words this year bearing my frail heart to Jesus that no one will ever see because, yes, my journal is password protected and I don’t want my kids ever reading through the anxiety-ridden gobbly-goop that are my emotions.

But these next few words are about the future—moving into 2022. Admittedly, I don’t feel more wise or seasoned or “better-for-it” after this last year. The word that comes to mind, mostly, is grateful. I’m glad this year is done and in the books. In light of that gratitude and for those of us living in exile who long for some gospel sanity in this next season, here is my one thought:

We’re probably further along than we think.

Admittedly, I tend to feel like I’m starting with a deficit in the new year. The danger of being an Enneagram 3, I guess. Meaning, on January 1st I jump on the treadmill of activity (diets, promises, resolutions, etc.) thinking that I need to produce more and grind hard so I can just get back to zero. This is why I love what David Brooks, author and NY Times columnist says, “It’s like we get on a train and look down at our belongings, and before we know it, we’re not where we started.” Meaning, we’re further along than we think. We haven’t arrived, of course. No one has. But God is working even when—especially when—we’re not trying to make something happen. The engine of grace is doing the work and dragging our sorry butts down the tracks of life.

Despite your loud mouth and slow uptake to humble living, God is doing the work of growing you up. Your mistakes, missteps, and even sins do not keep God from employing his grace on your behalf. In other words, you are not where you started. Take a moment and look back. Do you see it? God brought you here. He sustained you. You may still be in the desert, but you’re not in Egypt. You may still see the choppy waters of the Red Sea, but the enemy is no longer in pursuit. Be encouraged. God is moving pieces and accomplishing his purposes in your life even if you don’t have an ounce of energy to check off box number 1 on your list. It’s called grace. Get used to it. We’re on his train and his tracks, by his power.

So, as you step into 2022, take a breath. God is in control. He’s always been in control. You may not be where you want to be, but you’re not where you used to be. And that’s OK.