A word to those changing churches:
This is the season in which church people change churches. It makes sense. It matches nicely with the arc of the new school year and Fall season. January is the most common time families leave one church to find another, but August and September are close seconds.
Let me start by saying, I don’t begrudge your change. Really, I don’t. Eugene Peterson is famous for saying, “The Church is the hardest place on the planet.” No truer words. I have spent my fair share of time in churches that were struggling, divided, offendable, and sour. Sometimes it’s time to find a new church. I’m not kidding. No hidden agenda. Personally, I would recommend you stay in your old church longer than you think you should, serve more than you want to, and be the most positive person to be around. But if you must leave, I get it. Do it with honor and respect. Leave well. But leaving? Yeah, I’ve been there and it happens.
Second, Welcome! If you happen to grace the doors of our church, welcome! Seriously. We’re glad you’re here. We’re an imperfect group of people. I mean, really imperfect. But if you are keenly aware of your need for friendship and grace, and if you are hungry for an ever-deepening relationship with Jesus, welcome! I don’t know a church in town that wouldn’t be glad you mustered up the courage needed to walk into their gathering.
Third, Shhhhh! If you just changed churches and are sitting in your new church, kindly keep your opinions to yourself. Maybe this doesn’t apply to you. Maybe you love everything about the new church. But maybe, you think to yourself, this new church is gonna want my unfiltered, unrequested opinion about how to make their coffee bar better. Perhaps you have great, helpful opinions, but I would recommend you just settle in. Learn the rhythms of this new church family. Praise where you can. Ask questions if things don’t make sense. But otherwise, Shhhhhh.
Fourth, Make a Friend. Nothing will discourage you more than going to a church alone and then leaving alone. While we go to church to worship the King of Kings, one of the added benefits is deep friendship with others who are in the same pursuit. So, make a friend. Invite someone to lunch. Go to a small group. Get to church early. Stay late. This is when people will be hanging around. In case you don’t know, this is serious work. Making a friend is perhaps the hardest part of church. But if you can stick it out, church can become a beautiful place of community.
Fifth, Get on Mission. Don’t be a wallflower in this new church. The pastor will be glad some chairs are filled, but your heart will be empty if you never get going on the mission of God. So just jump in there and serve. If you’ve never heard of the 80/20 rule, it’s generally true in church. 20% of the people do 80% of the work. But in a gospel community it shouldn’t be that way, and it certainly doesn’t have to be that way. We are all in this together. Find a place to serve. Give generously. Get on a plane. Feed the poor. Whatever it is, make this new church a new season of growth for you.
Good observations. I specifically appreciate the points about making a friend and getting in mission. Involvement is a big factor in satisfaction and it is biblical too
Thanks my friend! I’m super grateful to have a partner in ministry in our city like you!
Jon, if you remember, I’m a lifelong friend of your mother. I know she is so proud of you. However the purpose of my message is that I am in search of a church, not having had one for many years. My struggle to find my faith, the faith of my youth, has been very hard. I figured That I need to find a church to help me strengthen faith. It will be so hard to walk through those doors to a group of strangers. I need to get up the courage to do so. You are doing marvelous work.Many blessings to you, HEATHERCASSELBERRY
Thanks for your encouragement! Yeah, have courage.
Pastor Jon, Thanks for sharing. As a Missionary with the TASK of getting Christian Professors engaged in ministry ON CAMPUS, let me encourage ALL Pastors to encourage their members to “GET ON MISSION” not just in their congregation, but in the place where they spend 40 or more hours per week! It takes COURAGE to minister in the marketplace, but it is also the place where you likely have the MOST influence. Fear G^d, and fear not! Still worried, Jesus said in Matt 5 “11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Question: do we BELIEVE Jesus??
Let’s all GET ON MISSION!
Amen, my friend. I’m grateful for your heart!