There is nothing quite as stressful as the holidays. I know some people who can’t wait to gather with the extended family, eat a turkey and hang out for 72 hours. But for every person that loves the holidays, I can point to five who are trying to figure out how to get called up for jury duty on Thanksgiving. With that in mind, I think it’s always helpful to step into holidays with eyes wide open and make a plan to not only get through them, but to begin to cherish them once again. The good news of Jesus gives us opportunity (and the command) to love our family. That opportunity (and command) seems more palatable when they live in Toledo, but here are few ways to step into the holidays when Aunt Edna is two chairs down.
Minimize the expectations. Remember, your holiday doesn’t have to look like a Norman Rockwell painting. And it doesn’t have to feel like Martha Stewart threw up on your dinner table. And by the way, turn off Pinterest. Lower the bar this year. This doesn’t mean you need to eat off paper plates, it just gives you permission to focus on the people sitting around the table more than what is sitting on the table.
Create a holiday rhythm. There is something about healthy tradition that unifies a family. It gives a sense of belonging and connection. Some of you watch It’s a Wonderful Life, or you put up your Christmas tree or play Gin Rummy to 5000. Our family goes to a movie every Thanksgiving night. It’s just what we do and we love it. If you don’t have any traditions, create some this year and you’ll discover hearts connecting together.
Serve someone. No need for another digital tirade about why we are the most narcissistic people on the planet. We already know we’re terminally selfish. But war against the status quo this year. If you want your family to get along, then go along to someone in need. Volunteer at a local soup kitchen. Find out where the homeless congregate in your city and make care packages. Visit a nursing home. Take candy or gift cards to those working in retail. Do something. There is nothing that binds a family together like serving.
Give permission to start over. This. Holidays are the time to begin again and forgive. Wipe the slate clean before the turkey lands on the table. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have the three-hour painful conversation you think you need to have. It just means you are going to take the grace that has been generously given to you and you are going to lavish that family member with it. Forgiveness is not always predicated on finding a resolution. It’s deciding to make peace and allowing God to turn the page to a new chapter.
