There are few things more painful than correction. Unfortunately for us, the people that are closest to us see the real us. There is no hiding our inconsistencies from our spouse, kids and long-term co-workers. Thankfully those close to you have learned to either overlook or perhaps, more graciously, “cover over your multitude of sins with love” (1 Peter 4:8). But once in a while they will hold up a mirror and ask you if what you see is really God’s best.
It’s not unusual for our first instinct to be to deny the obvious cracks in our exterior, but inconsistencies, frailties and even outright addictions may be in our blind spot. And it’s in those moments we’re reminded that what is hidden to us, is often in the front and center for everyone else. So what happens when someone corrects your attitude, behavior and decisions?
Here are six ways to respond to correction:
1. Listen. That’s right, listen. Not every private correction deserves a public retort. “Well, you’re no peach either!” If the person voicing concern/correction has the courage to open their mouth for your good, then give them permission to do so by keeping your mouth shut. What they’re saying may not be new information, but perhaps you have a new heart to receive it.
2. Don’t argue. Keep that hole in your face zipped and don’t think about winning the argument. Arguing is most often a tool that we use to inform another person that we are right and they are stupid. Here’s the thing: they already know you know that you’re not perfect. You are just as jacked up as everyone else. So why argue that point? Joyfully submit to the words of the Apostle James, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19)
3. Ask questions. Blind spots are aptly named. You can’t see what you can’t see. Your car has blind spots and so do you. If your bad behavior is obvious to everyone but you, ask questions. “What does it look like when I do that? How does it impact other people? Why do you think I’m unable to see it?” If you can’t see the problem, get some new perspective.
4. Get a second opinion. Most of us like this action item. We want to be validated and justified in our offense. “How dare they criticize or correct me?!”. But after you’ve listened patiently, gotten low and asked some healthy questions now it’s time to find out if other people are seeing what you can’t see. For clarity, not all criticism is justified or accurate. But I find that there is often a kernel of truth in what someone says. So ask someone who truly loves you and is out for God’s best in your life. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” (Proverbs 27:6). Allow a friend to wound you so that you might find true healing and wholeness.
5. Make a change. Nobody likes change. But knowing Jesus and depending on His grace gives you the power to change direction. You now have the power to say “no” to sin and ungodliness (Titus 2:12). God has gifted you with fresh eyes to see an area of brokenness. Now do something with it.
6. Express Gratitude. Being corrected is painful. But doing the correcting is no day at the beach either. I’ve sat in both seats many times—I’ve been corrected and been the one correcting. If I had to choose one, I’d rather be corrected. A mountain of courage is required to have a difficult conversation that could go bad, but for the sake of the gospel must be done. After someone has corrected you, thank them. Tell them how grateful you are to have a friend that really cares about their heart and soul.
