I stood him up. Yep. It was me this time. I’ve been stood up dozens of times in years past so I am not easily offended when it happens. I get it. We’re busy people and sometimes life just gets the best of us. But last week I was doing the standing up. He texted me, generously giving me the benefit of the doubt, “Running late?” As I looked down at my phone, beads of sweat immediately formed on my bald head realizing I was 15 minutes late and 15 minutes away. I took a breath trying to figure out how I could save face on my obvious blunder. I just owned it. My phone call to him was a combination of profuse apologies and complex explanations about how my day had been a train-wreck of busy. No cross words passed between us. He understood because busy is the acceptable sin. Busy has become the trump card over most of our relational fractures. We don’t throw stones because we all live in glass houses when it comes to busy.
If classes, kids, sports, recitals, conferences, projects and work make up our fast-paced, out of control lives, is there a way out of busy? Can we just stop going to work? Should my daughter’s love for track and field or my son’s predilection for tennis take an immediate backseat for the sake of our souls? I wish it were that clear. Our busyness is not the reason we are busy. That is, our packed schedules are not to blame, we are.
WHY ARE WE SO BUSY?
Validation. Busy drives us for personal validation. We’re not just after a ‘thank you’. We’re after a bit of justification for putting our lives on hold. The truth is, our souls were made for an affirmation that says, “Well done!” However, instead of leaning on Jesus as the only validation, we have crafted our own gospel and its sacraments are achievement and performance. We work and play and drive and create in the hope that our lives will have some tangible meaning in this world apart from the love of God and his ferocious work on our behalf.
Camouflage. We’re hoping no one will see us. Not that we don’t want to be seen. We do! Remember, we want to be validated. But we don’t want others to see our frailty and brokenness. We conceal our inconsistencies and busted ego’s through a camouflage of time cards and deadlines. Busy keeps us from ever having to walk in deep gospel community with others.
Priorities. To be clear, I don’t like this word. My mind immediately drifts to a fundamentalist preacher screaming about our lack of commitment and why people aren’t reading the King James Version bible anymore. However, there are some words that need reclaiming from the religious abyss that says, “We need to get our acts together.” Priorities are one of those words that is in desperate need of redemption. Priority simply means “determining what is most important”. In the tornado of life, we have lost our vision of what could be. We have forgotten the things we prayed over our kids when they were babies. We have lost sight of the dream that God gave us when we were young and full of faith. Our priorities will realign when our souls realign with the Sabbath rest that is from God.
WHERE DO WE START?
Lists are easy. Dreams are not a problem. It’s the getting started that is the trick. Let’s start here together.
Turn off the phone when you get home. The reason our lives are busy is because our minds are busy. Quit answering texts, checking Instagram and liking every dumb article on Facebook. Dial down your thoughts and you’ll discover new life returning to your soul.
Be disciplined to plan margin. There are not a lot of things we control, but one of those is our calendar. Don’t let others schedule your life. You are the only one that can say “no” for you. So say “no” more. Your family, your children and your soul will thank you for planning a bit of downtime every day.
Repent. That’s right. Repentance is the key to this whole mess. Ask God to forgive you for making your work, or hobby, or school, or relationship an idol in your life. Then ask God to give you grace and power so that you might turn your full attention where it belongs—on Him. As repentance takes root, a new rest, peace and clarity will soon come rushing in.
